5 Tips for Navigating and Overcoming Crisis

Knowing when you are unwell is a vital and inevitable part of wellness. Times when we are not well, or crisis as I'll refer to it, are going to happen. More recently with the pandemic, economic struggles, volatile social tensions, and political turmoil, a crisis is undoubtedly knocking on many of our doors. Coming out of 2020 and moving into 2021, we need to stop holding in our pain and grow through the hard times to enjoy the year to come. At the moment, working through a crisis seems unmanageable. However, navigating and overcoming these struggles boils down to five simple steps. 

1. Learn how to love yourself. In our Love THROUGH Crisis blog post, I discuss in great detail how to love yourself and teach others to love you in times when you are unwell.

2. Work your wellness plan. In our How to Build a Wellness plan post, you will find detailed instructions for constructing a thorough wellness plan that will account for your systems of wellness and plan for a crisis.

3. Giving yourself time to feel, heal, and process.

4. Seeking help from your community.

5. Showing up for yourself daily to do the work that it takes to get back well.

Please see the video for a full investigation into these 5 tips. 

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I'm Called, but I'm Scared: Walking into Your Calling NOW!

The Lord rarely places you in your calling at the time you're called. More often than not, in the examples of Joseph, David, and Jesus in the Bible, the Lord will call you and have you wait and mature before giving you the position. These passages are commonly preached from a position of being patient in the waiting and the preparation. But what happens when God says to go?

Recently, I've started two small businesses. In the middle of a pandemic, I thought that I had more waiting to do before these businesses were established. KandidKare, in particular, I've been working in my waiting for 3 years. When the Lord said it was time to launch, I had gotten so comfortable in the waiting I wasn't ready. I had done all of the prep work and all of the formulating, but the feet to faith stirred immense fear. 

The nice thing about God is that He will tell you to go at any time, so we must be ready at all times. Had Joseph been too proud to interpret the other prisoner's dream, he would've never walked into his elevation. If David was not confident enough to choose to slay Goliath, he would have never walked into kingship. If Jesus had been to fearful to take up his cross, none of us could be saved. While Jesus is perfect, His example, as well as the others mentioned, proves the point that we must always be ready. 

While the Bible doesn't talk about the frame of mind of these individuals in these times, we cannot omit that there may have been a level of fear involved. For Jesus, He asked the Lord to take the cup from Him. For Joseph, he was in the lowest position possible: prison. For David, he was the smallest of his brothers. Undoubtedly, if there was no fear, there probably should have been. But when God calls you and enables you, you must move despite.  

As I've discussed over the last few weeks, I have been attacked on every front possible when starting these businesses: the finances don't add up, someone tried to steal my ideas, my family has been attacked, I've lost loved ones, my AC has gone out, imposter syndrome has crept in, and my anxiety has been on 1000%. Even in all of these things, the Lord said NOW!

Even in apparent fear, when called, you go. God doesn't call the qualified, he enables the called. Knowing this, you push through the fear. As Isaiah 6:8 says, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" Respond to the call, and go. 

I wish I had simple steps to help build the faith to overcome fear, but sometimes, it's just that simple. Step out on faith. You might not be able to see the next step, but take it knowing that God has called you and will instruct you accordingly. 

Always Working Because You Never Arrive

Maybe because I'm young, I feel as though I am ever-evolving. I do yearly update videos. From year to year, the woman on the other side of the screen/camera the next year is so much different from the years prior. I know this will be no different in my 2020 year review. With this, it's easy for me to know that I've not arrived. But at times, I still struggle with this unreal pride in having “arrived” with respect to my peers.

This concept of arrival is what is often warned against by mental health professionals. It's this concept that there is a mental state, monetary value, and/or social status that implies that you are in your final/greatest form. This mindset goes against the Bible (Phil. 1:4-6). 

To fight against this mindset, here are 3 motivators to encourage evolution and growth towards who the Lord would have us to become. 

1. Don't take Him for granted. The Lord is our fortress and our rock. He is a present help for us and a protector of our souls. He's provider, educator, redeemer, etc. In our growth, don't take His relationship and contribution for granted. Grow daily to learn Him and strengthen your relationship with Him, ensuring that he's at the center of all you do. 

2. Don't become prideful in your works. When you keep Christ first, this is a bit easier to do, but never think that you are higher than another man. The word says in Proverbs 3:7, "Do not be wise in your own eyes..." Don't believe that you are so much higher than others because your sin is not their sin or that you’re too good to go through certain situations. 

3. Be open to seeing yourself as God sees you. I often go through cycles with God where I forget that I'm a work in progress. Especially during the good times, I tend to receive a blessing as a "reward" for my "sanctification". I'm actively working to fix these mindset slips; however, to do so, I ask the Lord to show me myself in His eyes. This requires accepting the good, bad, ugly, and even hidden parts of myself that the Lord sees. Even in dying to your self daily, you will sin. Seeing yourself the way God does, allows you to pinpoint and consistently work on correcting those sins. 

Working these steps does not negate rejoicing in the good times. But remember when rejoicing in the advances, work still has to be done. 

Happiness in Every Season

Today's post is a bit of a different one. Attached above is an old video of 19-year-old Mi'Kayla spitting some facts. I discuss how to be happy when you're single. I wanted to clear a few things up. 

Being happy is not just a single problem; it's a life problem. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, happiness is not guaranteed, only joy is. With this, I have been striving for happiness for years. Through this method, and revamping the method over time based on my life changes, I have found happiness even in times of stress, depression, and anxiety. 

In the video, I discuss that you should investigate 4 valuable questions: who are you? who do you want to be? what makes you happy? what do you want in a companion? 

While I emphasize the first 3 questions in the video, I've come to realize that the last question is very valuable as well. If you are in a space where you are looking to marry, you need to know what you want so that you don't settle for less. At 19, this question wasn't important for me to answer. At 24, it is. Honestly, had I answered it better at 19, I wouldn't have gone through as much as I went through in college relationally. 

Even if you have a spouse, knowing what kind of people you want in your space is valuable. So many times we have "friends" in our space that don't serve us and offer traits that lead to the depletion of our happiness. Knowing what character traits are beneficial and harmful to you will help you deal with stressors caused by others.

I also want to clarify that I don't believe God has us in single seasons for a reason. At least, I don't believe it in the context I discuss in the video. I will get to this on another post one day. But I whole-heartedly know that if someone wants to be married, they can be. You don't have to wait for God's timing. A lot of people don't. Note: I don’t ever recommend stepping out of God’s perfect will.

Lastly, being happy in any season is achievable with the first three steps. You have to want it for yourself. This goes back to building a wellness plan. A wellness plan will answer all of these questions and give insight to the intricacies of why certain things make you happy as you build/grow it.

This is not to say that every day you will be happy if you follow these steps because mental illness and circumstantial influences exist. BUT you are more likely to recover from stressors and find your happiness if you follow these steps. 

Dealing with Jealousy: Hatred, Imitation, and Mockery

Last month, the Lord was dealing with me about surrounding myself with jealous individuals. He had been protecting me from them, but he was now opening my eyes to their behaviors and the subsequent effects on me. Long story short, He is preparing me to learn how to deal with jealousy. Dealing with jealousy within yourself is easy. But maturity is in how you choose to deal with jealous individuals. 

The jealous scenarios He revealed to me were as simple as kids who would name call when I was younger and as complex as family members who consistently make comments. For years, I was so protected by the Lord that I could neither understand nor care about people's jealousy. Or I would love harder, pick up more insecurities, and accept these dysfunctions. 

It took 24 years and the Lord opening my eyes to show me the detriments in all of these. He’s also been showing me how my responses have been sinless, but wrong. 

Don’t get me wrong. This is not haters are gon’ hate type of post. I don’t believe that foolishness.

Last week, some of the insecurities relating to one person, in particular, had resurfaced. Side note: Why I didn’t expect this is beyond me, but here we are. My response was initially apathetic. This turned to pride, then anger, and now sadness. All of these responses are wrong, for reasons I’ll discuss shortly. 

Let’s be honest, we have all been jealous at one point or another in our lives. I remember being in kindergarten and being jealous of a classmate who had gel pens. It started as consistent compliments, then asking to borrow them, then anger when they didn’t oblige, and even theft. It was a whole thing. This situation resulted in a spanking, me giving that classmate the new pack of gel pens I didn’t know my parents bought me in exchange for the one I stole and losing my best friend. My mom quickly got me in check to learn probably the most valuable lessons about jealousy: What God has for you is for you. Be happy for others’ gifts even if you don’t have it. Lastly, why be jealous when God has given you so much more within yourself.

Taking those lessons into adolescence and adulthood, it’s very rare that I get jealous. Because I’m interested in the journey, if I am “jealous”, I typically ask about someone’s process to get what they have. This is not everyone’s perspective. Typically, the internal response to jealousy is hating, imitation, or hypercritical mockery, as stated before. 

Jealousy looks to pick a fight and make you look like the aggressor. For so long, being protected, I would respond by picking up insecurities and changing myself, often minimizing myself to make others feel comfortable. Because of my heart, I want for everyone to “win”. Since jealousy usually makes life competition and goes tit-for-tat, I would give up my calling, hide a trait, or give an idea away for someone to feel like their “winning”.

Last week, I was at a point, where I thought it’d be easier to just quit: quit blogging, quit grad school, quit social media. Maybe if I give up my work they would feel successful? If I need to be the villain for them to succeed, so be it. If I need to be the template to raise their self-esteem concerning my calling (they want to copy), even better. Since I’m the problem, I’ll leave. I will do whatever it takes for you to grow and “win”.

First, this apathy is NOT Christ-centered. Minimizing yourself minimizes your mission to the world. Life, while a collaborative effort, is not a team sport. In the same way, you come into the world, you will leave this world, alone. I cannot hand over my calling to anyone else or minimize my ministry and expect that person to succeed. The Bible says iron sharpens iron, but if I’m not doing what I need to, I’m not sharpening anyone. Lastly, I can neither give up nor compete for MY calling. What God has for me is for me. 

From my apathetic mindset, I picked up pride in the willingness to not compete. Taking pride in anything, but Christ alone is futile. 

Anywho, these two responses have proven to be “successful”, in that I “fight jealousy with love”. This fake love comes at the cost of personally feeling stifled and the other person usually getting angry. This anger turns to spite to prove their point: more direct comments and/or withdrawing, sulking and playing the victim. 

My natural response to this is anger as humanly justified. This response is wrong as well. By the example of Jesus with the Pharisees, you have to love others through your anger. Genuine love is saying the hard truths in love and exposing jealousy for what it is.  

Finally, sadness is an unacceptable response to jealousy. I truly feel sad when I realize that no matter what I do, even if it’s exactly what someone feels I should, it will never be enough to satisfy that person’s jealousy. The truth is, while there is room for everyone to win, not everyone wants to win. Some people are content chasing other people’s dreams forever and staying miserable in comparison. There’s nothing I can do about that. I can lead a horse to water, but I can’t make ‘em drink. 

So what’s the end-all-be-all? Dealing with jealousy is a part of life. While God protects us from some things, at some point we all have to make decisions in resolving it. You can leave, stay and love, and/or accept it, and have appropriate responses to it. Ultimately, you cannot pick up their jealousy as your insecurity, sin in anger, and/or internalize their struggle. 

Moving forward, how am I fixing myself? First, I have to fix my self-esteem and reevaluate my insecurities. I have to undo a lifetime of jealous influence. Second, I’m going to see those encounters for what they are: distractions from my mission. Lastly, learn to love harder. I didn’t know that was quite possible. In the same way that I want others to win, they can. But minimizing myself is stunting everyone’s growth. Be me and love people as I do. If they are jealous or don’t like it, that’s a them-problem, not a me-problem.

From the Pitfall of Perfection to the Pinnacle of Progression/Production

Hi, I’m Mi’Kayla and I’m a perfectionist. While life is never perfect, growing up, I had this idea that if I stayed true to God that everything would be perfect. This thought process was both detrimental and limiting the nature of God. 

Definitions of perfection imply that there are human conditions to achieving a flawless, sinless, and painless form. While God does offer grace, generosity, mercy, protection, and peace, his perfect-will does not align with our idea of perfection. I often use the analogy that if Job would’ve known that he would have had to lose everything to get double, would he have? Most people would say no because our perception of perfection doesn’t include trials or pain. 

When we align our perspective with God’s, we’re able to see that perfection is never achieved until death. With this, tackling expectations and desires often cause anxiety and feelings of defeat. While we can do all things unto the Lord, we can still fall short of what we perceive to be the mark. Thankfully, progression/productivity is more important than the ideology and idolatry of perfection. Similarly, the pinnacle in each is persistence, which we can achieve. 

The definition of progression is the process of developing or advancing. The definition of production is the action of curating or manufacturing from raw components.

Go down this rabbit hole with me if you will. First, when you accept Christ you are now on a journey. When along a journey, there should never be a place of stagnation or complacency. There should always be advancement and growth, even in waiting. This is why I stress so heavily the value of growth on this platform. Note, biblically speaking, even Daniel in the lion’s den was advancing though his physical position was not moving. In the same way, Joseph in the pit and the children of Israel in the desert were growing. So in our lives, we are always accelerating toward our “perfect” goal to be with Christ. I preface this to understand better the following. When we are living, building, and growing our relationships with God, we are simultaneously walking into the mission he has called for us. We should be producing something for the world, for we are the salt of the earth at a minimum. Thus, every step, every decision, every moment is the intersection of progression and production (even the wrong steps). 

Frankly speaking, there is no giving up. There is no time out. Time never stops, and your mission still awaits. So even if making a hasty decision or resting, follow the direction of the Lord. In the same way, when you get tired, persistence is key. 

I discussed last week that I often feel defeated by the lies of the enemy that shrewd my confidence in the value of my voice. At the end of the day, even if wrong, hard to write, or muffled by the circumstances of the world, I am called to be persistent in my progression/production. I must stop worshipping the idea of perfection and embrace the imperfection to grasp ahold of what God is cultivating in and through me. 

I don’t know who needed this post, but I know I did. Perfect is not going to happen. There will always be someone richer, someone smarter, someone funnier, etc. (fill in whatever you’re struggling with), so a comparison is futile. But God has called each of us to the progression, production, and persistence of growth and work for His glory and our advancement. 

Overcome Vulnerability and Find Value in Your Voice

Contrary to today, when I was young, I was an extravert. Through life, as a result of school, church, and other social experiences, I’ve become so reserved, to the point of identifying strongly with the mute. From this, when I was about 18, I came to a place where I needed to find my voice again. Even after finding my voice, though, I was criticized so harshly for using it that I now have to overcome the anxiety of vulnerability and find value in my voice daily. This blog was my original fix for attempting to overcome this constant tension. As I’ve stated before, I took about a 4-year break from this platform to refine this solution. Nonetheless, I can say with certainty, as of today, it is not natural for me to share anything with anyone ever (not with my family, not on this blog, not with a partner, not at all!). But I continue to do so as an act of obedience because God has specifically told me that there is value in my voice, so I need to use it. 

But how exactly do I overcome vulnerability and find value in my voice?

The Bible says to be slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19). For those of us who struggle to speak, though, the problem is not in being slow to speak, but in being open to sharing. There are specific times that the Bible calls us to speak. Aside from these times, we are still required to be in fellowship and build a relationship with others. To do these things, we must be open to sharing the value in our voice (Rev. 12:11). 

Have you ever noticed that the words of the chatterbox are never heard as impactful as the select words of the quiet? I don’t think this is a coincidence, either. Biblically speaking, for someone like Moses, there was an emphasis on his speaking, because of both his obedience and his word choices. With or without his stutter, there was purpose in Moses’ perspective. 

The first part of this struggle is overcoming the anxiety of vulnerability. The Bible says to cast all of your anxieties on the Lord. The Bible also promises unfathomable peace that only comes from this surrender of our anxieties. In the same way, don’t allow the fear of vulnerability to mute you. I’ve grown to know that my voice is a part of my calling. Regardless of how naked I feel in sharing, I cannot allow fear to fight my future. 

The second part of this struggle is finding your voice. You cannot find value without finding your voice first. This process is different for everyone. There is no one size fits all; however, again, from the life of Moses, there is a level of identity that naturally comes to your voice as you’re obedient with God in using it. At the beginning of Moses’ journey to his call, he was insecure with his voice. As time persisted, the Lord called him, and he gained Aaron to be his mouthpiece. Even in this, through his obedience, Moses, the mouthpiece and messenger of God at this moment, was learning how to overcome his vulnerability and speak. By the time it came for Moses to receive the 10 commandments, thankfully he had found his voice because Aaron was tripping (When Moses went on the mountain to get the 10 commandments, Aaron both facilitated and encouraged the worshipping of idols). I can’t say that the maturity of Moses’ voice was from time, trial, or trail (his journey). I can say without a shadow of a doubt, it came from obedience. In the same way, we all can develop our voice and the boldness often required to exercise it from positioning ourselves with a posture of obedience. 

The last part of this is finding value in your voice despite vulnerability. I have a mixed relationship with my voice. I have gone through seasons of chatter, seasons of being mute, and seasons of being hurtfully honest with my voice. In every season, though, whether right or wrong, there is value in your voice (God can use all things). Until recently, this was a fallacy to me. Contingent upon the first two points being true, God may call you to any of these seasons. From this, there is intentionality in anything you choose to say. Sometimes, it may take a two-hour conversation for someone to gleam 1 nugget that will change their life. During other times, silence is more impactful than words. In most cases, the truth even said gracefully, is painful, but necessary. So regardless of the season, there is value in your voice. 

Building Beyond the Basics

According to the Biblical principles, our goal should be maturity, not stagnation or indifference. What happens once you have the basics down? Where do you go and/or how do you mature along your journey as you and your definitions of wellness change?

You have to build beyond the basics. To a certain extent, you have to have a level of intentionality to build beyond your basics to have your basics grow with you. As shared before, wellness starts with a wellness plan for yourself. Whether written or mental, this plan should be a working document. An ever-changing document, but ever-reminding you of who you are as you change. Building beyond the basics starts with recognizing the evolvement of this document.

As the document evolves, your definitions of wellness should evolve and you will begin to need satisfaction in digging deeper into yourself. The chart below describes some simple ways you may build beyond the basics.

Note that your journey is individualized, so these are suggestions. Also, once you’re in the maturing phase you have not arrived. You should always be putting in the work. Take the example of a home. The basics are your foundation. You cannot have a house without a foundation. The building upon the basics is the building of the home. You need stability, support, and siding to protect the home. Maturity is the upkeep of the home. You could have built a home, but if you don’t clean the home and/or keep it up, you will not be able to sustain the home. Your wellness is the same way.

As we move into the second half of 2020. Keep these principles in mind. With this time home and isolated, many of us have focused on re-centering ourselves with the basics, but now to execute our goals for the rest of the year, we must build beyond these basics and begin to mature in our growth.

Living Like You Know You’re Blessed

God promises to exceed all of our basic necessities. He promises to love us, protect us, offer provision for us, and give us guidance in exchange for our submission, obedience, and delight in Him. The technical definition of blessing (God’s favor and protection) proves that we all are afforded a blessed life. So why don’t we act like it? 

At times, we become consumed with our hardships, so we discount the blessing. And/or we compare ourselves to others, so we don’t see our blessing. And/or we are so focused on others' blessing, so our jealousy divides us. And/or we believe the lies of the enemy, so we feel unworthy of the blessing. And/or we are simply ungrateful. Either way, the Lord offers it to us freely. He doesn't just stop with the basics, he promises more blessings contingent upon our continued obedience. The Lord speaks of pouring out blessings to those who are poor in spirit; mourners; teachable; hungry for righteousness; and merciful, etc.  

Note that these are just scratching the surface of the blessings that God gives. He speaks in the beatitudes of those who are blessed for their traits, but again, how would we walk if we knew we were blessed? We would be secure in our blessing and devoted to our walk. This requires us to mind our business.

Growing up I was taught a phrase that comparison is the thief of joy. When you realize you’re blessed you can’t look at others because you are focused on seeing yourself for blessed. You allow gratitude, devotion, and peace to exude from your investigation of your blessing. 

When you know you’re blessed you walk differently, talk differently, and execute life differently. There’s a Christ-centered confidence in you. Obedience is immediate. Lies are dispelled. You are hungry to know the Lord and execute your mission for Him. You don’t have time to worry about someone’s race. You aren’t concerned with someone’s sexual orientation. You could care less about someone else’s wife.

To sum it all up, in simple, JUST MIND YOUR BUSINESS! As the millennials say, mind the business that pays you. When you’re blessed you are so consumed with your relationship with God and the blessings associated that you don’t have time to look to the right or to the left. You are engulfed in Him solely, keeping God first and yourself second. Not in a narcissistic way, but from a place of gratitude, devotion, and peace. You're working in a way such that you are devoted to your mission and obedient to your work. Loving others and not judging others. That’s living the blessed life. That’s living like you know you’re blessed. 

“If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.” Deut. 28:1-5

Mid-Year Motivation: What's planned for June?

Hello All!

This month on the blog, I’m planning the content all about the mid-year motivation. In the video, is a brief description of the weekly breakdown.

June 7-13: Self Care

June 14-20: Grow to Grow up! Restarting, revamping, and renewing yourself

June 21-27: How to walk blessed?!

June 28-30: Beyond the basics.

In the attached video, I give a disclaimer for the month to get you both pumped and ready (5:22). I hope this excites you all as much as it does for me.

Until the next post, bye!

Methods to Set up Systems of Wellness

Hello Everyone!

I close out our discussion about systems of wellness, I found the following links particularly helpful. These resources give examples for which you can go from a goal minded form of wellness to a systems minded daily ideal of wellness.

"You don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems." Having spent the past few years trying out new habits and creating differ...

You all loved the first systems video, so here is part 2: Breaking down how to create your own system for optimal productivity, peace & calm. 🤓Thank you Skil...

To accompany these videos, I’ve uploaded a podcast style video about my journey with creating systems of wellness and some examples of systems that you may be able to change and adapt for your life.

A Look into My Intentional Wellness Journey

As a bonus this week, I’d like to post my yearly review of 2019. This video will give you a bit of insight into my personal wellness journey: Why I really got serious about wellness? and Different principles of wellness I’ve tried?

Similarly, there’s some great gems about the prep work it took for me to build my systems of wellness. If you’d like to skip through the video, here are some great time links fo you:

2:28 Summary of Q1: Sickness

08:15 Summary of Q2: Recovery

10:14 Practical steps I put in place to start my wellness journey

12:16. Summary of Q3: Enacting systems of wellness

15:00. Summary of Q4: Doing the work

20:38. Relationships?

23:48. Goals and Accomplishments

I know the video is long, but it is a full view into my life and thought process. I hope it brings some hope to you all!

How my mom’s service dog helped my mental wellness?

This week on the blog, we are talking about different things you can do to enact systems that help with your daily wellness. These are processes that you can put in place to help you with your wellness weaknesses.  Today, I’m going to talk about how bringing a pet into your life may help put some of these systems in place. 

As I’ve discussed before, my biggest struggle in wellness are my work-a-holic tendencies. This affects my wellness by causing me to lose track of my days, my self care (combing my hair, exercising), food consumption, and sleep patterns. I would’ve never thought having a pet would help me with any of these things. 

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My mom and Jennifer

When my mom made the decision to get herself a service dog, I thought nothing of it. Back then my mindset was, “if I wanted to feed another mouth, I would just have a baby, for at least a child would grow up and take care of me.” I didn’t quite understand the concept or the need for a pet. Then, I went with my mom on a two week retreat, by which they taught us how to care for her new service animal, Jennifer. In going through their training, it opened my eyes to how much these little pups can do for you, but also what you could do for yourself by just taking care of the pup. 

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My mom and Jennifer at their graduation ceremony at America’s Vet Dogs.

Now, assuming you don’t have a service animal who is as diligently trained as Jennifer, a simply trained pet, particularly a dog, can help with all of the following things. 

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1. Self awareness: As I said in last weeks video, I struggle with remembering that I have feelings. I tend to get lost in my work and see myself as a robot, both emotionless and bulletproof. One good step on my toe from Jennifer, reminds me that not only can I feel, but there’s others who my emotions, or lack thereof, affect. Dogs are so sensitive to the emotional atmosphere of the humans they are around, so much so that if I’m feeling a bit off, Jennifer knows it. 

2. Good food schedule: I have gotten particularly good about my food schedule lately, in that I practice intermittent fasting; however, the frequency at which I eat during my eating period has gotten way stricter with Jennifer around. For starters, she is recommended to only eat twice a day, 6:45 am and 4:30 pm. As a result of her schedule, I’m reminded about my own. Secondly, every time I whip some food out, this girl is side eyeing me — like she know I don’t need it. This convicts me, especially when I’m struggling to not over- or under-eat my caloric intake for the day. 

3. Good sleep schedule: Especially under this quarantine, I’ve been struggling with getting enough sleep and putting my work away at night. Jennifer is quick to come and nudge me and/or the computer at about 10 pm when she’s ready to go to bed. If we’re still up, she’ll sigh like we’re getting on her nerves. 

4. Good exercise schedule: Dogs need exercise. Some dogs, if not taken out, get antsy and restless. To negate this, a good walk around the block or playing in the house, especially for young dogs, will help. This gets us, as the handlers, active as well. 

5. Self Care: This may be exclusive to our relationship with Jennifer as she’s a service dog, but she gets groomed daily, because she’s most likely going to be seen by others in public who need a good understanding that she’s working. With this, even when we’re just staying in the house, we groom her to keep the shedding down. Remembering to brush her helps us to remember to brush our own heads. 

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Taking all of these things into account, having a pet is not for everyone. While my mom having Jennifer has enriched her life and my life respectively, I personally will not be acquiring a new addition to my immediate family. I cannot afford a new pet or the time it takes to care for one. Similarly, while Jennifer adds so many benefits to the family’s wellness, I’ve already put other systems in place to ensure that I am accountable for all of those areas of wellness on my own (intermittent fasting, food tracking, bullet journaling to regulate exercise, work, and self care).  So, if like me, adding a pet to your family is not a good fit, stay tuned Saturday where we’ll be discussing some other methods to work wellness daily.

Building a Basic Wellness Plan

Hello Everyone!

Today’s post is a quick video on wellness plans: what are they? and how to start building one? The video is a bit long, but information heavy. I hope it encourages you all on your journey!

How to build a basic wellness plan? Wellness is an individualized journey that many of us choose to take intentionally. However, it's sometimes hard to start...

Defining Wellness, Identifying When You're Not Well, etc.

Hello Everyone!

This week on the blog we are talking all about basic principles of wellness. On a basic level, per Webster-Mariam dictionary, wellness is the practice, quality, or state of good health as an actively sought goal. Good health from a holistic point of view is good spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, relational, and financial health. As described in the most recent IG post, wellness is defined differently from one person to another. While there may be some overlaps between your wellness and someone else’s, a well life is not a monolithic experience. With that being said, when living a well life, you have to do three basic things: 1. Define/Understand Wellness for yourself. 2. Identify when you are not well. 3. Put systems in place to obtain, maintain, and exercise wellness. 

1. Defining and Understanding Wellness for yourself. 

While there are many resources available on wellness, no one can tell you what makes you well. Wellness is an internal conversation. However, to help, I have compiled a list of questions that should help with understanding yourself, and to spark internal dialogue to lead to your understanding of wellness.

Are you aware of your emotions, thoughts, and how your body feels? What does a good day look like for you? What does a bad day look like for you? How does a good day make you feel? How does a bad day make you feel? When you feel good, what kind of thoughts do you have? When you are feeling bad, what kind of thoughts do you have? When you are feeling bad, do you neglect to go to work or handle responsibilities you have? How often do you have good days in relation to bad days? Does physical activity increase your mood? How often do you engage in thirty minutes or more of physical activity/ sunlight exposure? Do you have hope? Where do you garner your hope from? What positive qualities do you like in your relationships? Do your finances cause you anxiety/ sleepless nights? Do conversations about your finances influence your mood?

Now, take all of these answers into account. To define your wellness not as the feelings that you have on a good day, but the feelings, actions, and responses you have on an average day that are lacking on a bad day. How would you define wellness for yourself?

2. Identifying when you are not well. 

Once defining wellness for yourself. It’s equally as important to know when you are not well. Similarly, asking yourself the following questions can help to understand when you are not well:

1. Am I being self aware: Am I being true to myself? Am I living for myself or for other’s validation? 

2. Are my spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, relational, and financial wellness aligned?

3. Do my actions reflect my beliefs? 

4. Am I clear in thought? Am I struggling to make decisions?

5. Am I being true to my emotions? Are my emotions on a roller coaster?

6. Am I getting enough sleep? Am I eating too much or not enough? Am I constipated? Am I taking my medication correctly? Have I seen my doctor to review my health? Does my doctor say I’m in good health? Am I practicing good hygiene? 

7. Are my relationships pushing me to make decisions that differ from my wellness? Are my relationships self serving? Am I giving too much to my relationships? Am I strong enough to walk away from my relationships or am I codependent on my relationships?

8. Are my financial decisions justified? Can I afford what I’m buying? Am I impulse buying? 

3. Putting systems in place to obtain, maintain, and exercise wellness. 

If you are not well in one or more areas or want to maintain your wellness, you can put together a wellness plan, which details your definition of wellness, your definitions of not being well, and guided choices to navigate you to staying well.  

Stay tuned on Saturday for a video on how to build your wellness plan.

Reminder about Growth

Hello Everyone! This time of pressure is so rough for all of us. We are stuck at home. We are in a time of clear uncertainty; however, this is a perfect time for us to focus on our growth. This is the moment to take the extra time and recalibrate for what is to come, in the uncertainty. While there are plenty of resources available on how to deal with the anxiety behind the uncertainty (see Resource List -1), once the shock wears off, we are left with idle time, for which we can steward for advancement or complacency (see Matthew 25:14-30). Similarly, in being under a season of pressure, we have an opportunity to be formed like a diamond into something of higher and greater value, but only if we do the work. This is a process I’m going to refer to as leveling up, to be synonymous with exponential growth and maturation (see Reference List for greater context). Nonetheless, taking a look into some of those who grew under pressure, here are a few practical principles I’ve found to level up: 

1. Keep in mind that practically, the only things we can change in this season are ourselves and our perspective. 

   1. Romans 12:2 says for us to not be of the world and to renew our minds to the ways of the Lord. In this, we cannot sit and squander our thoughts and time on wondering why and what we can change. Rather we can use our time for seeking instruction and executing the things of the Lord.

   2. The Lord has given to us the power of free will. While all around us is uncertain politically, financially, physically, we have a basic fundamental power to exercise free will and free thought. The powerful thing about this is we can choose to see this season as a blessing. We can choose to be joyful in this season. While difficult, we can choose to stay grounded in faith and not fear. 

   3. Having a kingdom mindset and understanding that God is ultimately in control, renders us solely dependent to and yielding of his omniscience. With this knowledge, we find peace, (see Resource List-3). 

2. Be faithful in your skills:

   1. When the children of Israel were in the wilderness, the Lord had their promises secured; however, they were not in a place to receive them. He had to refine them. Understanding that, we can’t allow fear, disbelief, or laziness to disqualify us during our growth process. In doing the internal work, we are growing, even if it doesn’t seem like it on the outside. To do this internal work, we must ask ourselves: “Is there anything I need to release to the Lord? More specifically, is there anything I need to trust God with?” 

   2. When Joseph, the son of Jacob, was thrown into the pit by his brothers, then jail, multiple times, he grew through his grateful heart in his talents. Being grateful to God during the journey puts our circumstance into perspective. It keeps the Lord at the head, but also humbles our spirit to have a glimpse into what He is doing. From this, we must ask ourselves: “What is God refining in me? What gifts are he stirring in me?” For Joseph it was his dream interpretation and wisdom.

3. Being obedient: 

   1. God doesn’t call us to a place of opinion when he’s doing something. He calls us to a place of communication and obedience. He wants us to love Him, love ourselves, love others as we love ourselves, fast (seeking direction), and pray(communication) for the purpose of execution (obedience). 

   2. Being obedient is not always easy. Back with Joseph, his obedience cost him some years of his freedom. For us, it may feel like a season of loneliness/isolation, complicated feelings, and/or spiritual heaviness. Understand, Christ has endured all of these and was God.

Knowing all of these things discussed, leveling up takes faith. And faith is work. Work is maturity. And maturity is uncomfortable and very rarely straightforward, when you’re doing it right. 

As we collectively grow together, especially during this time, let’s grow and work diligently, but also realistically, focusing our attention on the only source of peace in this time, Jesus Christ, and building our skills and obedience in Him. 

Resources List: 

1. Elevation Church: “I’m Still Scared”

Subscribe to the latest sermons: http://ele.vc/jeetED To support this ministry and help us continue to reach people all around the world click here: http://e...

2. Matthew 25:14-30

3. Transformation Church: “Under Doesn’t Mean Over”

If you'd like to know more about our ministry please visit us at http://transformchurch.us. And if you have a testimony of the amazing things that God is doi...

4. https://www.openbible.info/topics/perspective

5. Transformation Church: “Fading Faith”